Photograph in Bridgnorth area by Colin Buswell.

Mike Bonners Funnies.

1. Rang up the Swine Flu centre, but all I could hear was some Crackling.

2. My wife was a terrible cook, where there was smoke there was dinner.

3. My wife went onto a sea food diet, when she sea's food she would eat it.

4. Then she went onto a balanced diet, a bar of chocolate in each hand.

5. I drive to fast to worry about cholesterol

6. I never criticise my wife's cooking, I just look at the plate,what happened? was the dog hungry.

7. How to keep flies out of the kitchen? Put a pile of manure in the living room.

8. (And finally ) Paul Gaston the famous chef was cremated yesterday. The service lasted 30 minutes at gas mark 6.

Picture by Colin Buswell Words by Mike Bonner